Jokes rules for dating my daughter

I came across this today and, since I am the father of three girls, decided to make it public for possible suitors to prepare themselves as well as for other fathers who may need it. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Church you attend ___________________________________________________How often you attend ________________________________________________When would be the best time to interview your: Father? A woman’s place is in the:______________________________________________________________D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:______________________________________________________________E. ______________________________________________________________F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:______________________________________________________________G. __________________I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE._________________________________________________________Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!Note, this is slightly changed from the original version that I received! )_______________________________ ________________________________Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature_______________________________ ________________________________Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman In the boxes below, please provide Finger Prints, inked in your own blood for Homeland Security Identity Checking and DNA sampling: Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks.

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The PDF version –NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. The was lovingly built using Cake PHP All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. The was lovingly built using Cake PHPAs we all prepare to spend a long weekend enjoying Presidential Savings on mattresses and used Toyotas, we could take time to thank some of the presidents who passed bills that protect some of the freedoms your enjoy daily.

Or we could spend the day celebrating the presidents who are decidedly more Action Movie Heroes than diplomats.

In 50 words or less, what does “DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you? In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you? When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (NOTE: If the answer to “E” begins with a B, T, or A, discontinue and leave the premises immediately with your head hung low.) 15. _____________________ Signature (That means sign your name) Thank you for your interest. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _____________ C. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________ E. Do you plan to attend a Catholic or Christian College? ____________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

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